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And so Craig is considering leaving the relationship. We all may be able to empathize with his worries … “Kathy is a good person. If I leave this relationship, will I ever find another person who is as solid, who loves me like she does?”

I’ve written that the word “nightmare” is a word I now reject. Nightmare is a loaded word that aims to reject the productions of our unconscious (and admittedly, sometimes quite disturbing) dreams. Night terrors is a little different, don’t you think?

Have you noticed how we tend to talk about our dreams when we make a bit of an effort to speak of them consciously? Almost without exception these kinds of words are used: “weird” “crazy” “bizarre.” These kinds of ways of relating to our dreams indicate an almost innate wish to banish the material back to unconsciousness.

Although she has been doing deep work on this awareness of an inner critical gaze, Mandy on this day in therapy was beaming with a smile and had an infectious laugh as she reported feeling “more generous” than ever before with her husband’s “foibles.”

Therapy won’t always be on the side of the child or adult child in a family of origin. However, a parent normally has a privileged position of power in the family and speeches like the one above are Very Hard for children and then adult children to be able to shake their heads clear and not be overwhelmed by parents’ vulnerabilities/entitlements/etc. Therefore, it is often the case that therapy will help someone clear the mists brought on by interactions with a difficult parental caregiver.