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Mike is pursuing existential issues. Wonders what he wants to do with his life. Wonders if it matters what he chooses anyway.

We can and do heal. And while this statement could not possibly have been accessible for most of us as children, lacking an adult sense of self, this kind of statement IS available for any of us as adults now.

I also have an alternative reaction, one that brings an inner smile. I like to think of sitting with Chrissie’s upset, grumpy, “bugged,” feelings and explore them with faith in her, with a resolute (“admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering”) commitment to upholding that she makes sense; that if we apply attention and kindheartedness to her discomforted feelings of being unhappy that a valuable meaningfulness is likely residing in her feelings.

This is a common moment in therapy. Patients will come to therapy and, often with at least a hint of self-admonition, announce that this session, unlike many, they “just don’t have anything to talk about.”

“It's my life now! Not my mother’s. Not my father’s. Not my partners’. (MF: Not my therapist’s.) Not my boss’s. It’s my life to be the person I want to be.”